I believe that everything you do bad, comes back to you. So everything I do thats bad, im going to suffer for it. But in my heart, I believe what im doing is right, so I feel like im going to heaven.
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In the event of my demise, when my heart cant beat no more, I hope I die for a principle or a belief I had lived for. I will die before my time, because I feel the shadows depth, so much I wanted to accomplish before I reached my death. I have come to grips with the possibility and wiped the last tears from my eyes. I loved all who were positive, in the event of my demise.
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God rescue me from these demons I always see. Writing out my anger on paper, drinkin henny straight with no chaser. I may be alive on the outside, but im already dead on the inside. I always turned my head from positive, now my mind is fuked up from this life I live. Im going to be on a path to a slow suicide, if I dont do nothing now, im in for a painful ride. Im sittin here cryin, while watchin my soul dyin. So much pain as the weed smoke suffacates my brain. I ran out of tears to dry, so now im cryin inside. Stress, Agony, then follows Death, life was nothing but a test. I failed, now lay me to rest.
Blood, Sweat and Tears
Happiness always falls short.
Happiness is all I ever wanted to show you. Everytime I was with you, I wanted to show you something new. You`ve inspired me to do the things you like. Now wanting to hurt others out of spite. Your words and touches had a great impact on me. You taught me to open my eyes and breath. You told me to love, Lord know i can see. But to find out that the person I want to love does`nt want to love me. We all have issues within ourselves. Just wish when we are tired of fighting them, we can put them up on shelves. Now I feel like im falling through a bottomless pit. So you left me no choice, but to draw a line through your name, instead of under it. I thought I would never witness love at first sight. Our love would have outweighed our fights. Why must a person go through so much pain and sufferin. Always you could bring me back to you without any fussin. Every breath you take, its like a beautiful poem in my ears. I wanted to learn everything you love, asnd destroy everything you fear. Missing those kisses filled with so much carress. Having that thought of us not being together leaves me depressed. Your smile can brighten up the darkest room. My dream has been lost of you being my bride and me being your groom. Me being a bad person is all you left me to assume. I don`t know whats worse, dyin or kissing you goodbye. If not being with me makes you happy, I choose to die. Never thought I would be attracted to a woman after the first contact. With beauty and brains like yours, how else was i supposed to react. But i have moved on now, and hope you have too, wish i would have gotten that last conversatio, now am at peace now even though i still have no clue.
The events you have just read, if you did read, are not true events. Just thoughts running through my weed smoke infested brain.....LOL.
P.S.
Anyone knows of Jackie Rodriquez (from Md.) please leave a note. In dire need of contact.
