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 Recent Rantings 11/15/04 ok.... I know this topic wasn`t announced when I mentioned upcoming rants.... but it burst out of me so here it is. i hope it hurts. lol... Let`s talk about sex a lil bit. Have you ever wondered why do some men need sex 30 times a week and some don`t? What about the woman who has multiple orgasms per session and the one who barely has one (if any)? You guessed it. Because they are different. Yet we belong to the same society. The same group of people that you see walking down any street in Anycity, USA is full of different and dynamic minds. However they all share one undeniable desire. To belong. To be part of a group or clique. To be a member of an accepted school of thinking. In short; to be normal. But what is normal? To paraphrase Alfred Kinsey, noted researcher in the field of human sexuality, "There is no such thing as normal; only the common and the rare." The problem with normalcy is that it is subjective to the individual and their position in society. Is the behavior of a pedophile considered normal? No(Thank GOD). Is the person who rapes another normal? Again, our society says no. But what about the guy who looks at his girl`s best friend and has to question himself, "Am I normal for wanting to have sex with my girlfriend`s best friend?" Or the girl who catches herself staring at her female coworker thinking about how it would feel to kiss her. Is she normal? The answer is yes. They are both normal. The feelings are as natural and as "normal" as is humanly possible. The problem lies in the reaction to those feelings. Going back to my definition of normalcy, I said that the individual and their outlook define it. But our society has an unwritten list of rules and mores that are tapped whenever we see something that seems out of the ordinary and that is where the individual may find a problem in being "normal" or not. If the guy who is thinking about his girl`s best friend chooses to act on those feelings his girl wont consider that normal and would probably have a problem with it. He will most likely lose her and her best friend in the process. But if he keeps his thoughts to himself he falls within acceptable "normal" behavior even if he may feel like he is not being true to himself. And what about the girl who keeps wondering how soft her female coworkers kisses may be? There is nothing wrong with her thinking. If she has friends, family and coworkers who are open enough about same sex relationships she should have no issue with finding out about it. But if she is surrounded by the same closed-minded people that I happen to be around daily, she might find herself with a little more unwanted personal friction in her day to day activities. The problem is choice. Do we choose to behave according to the rules and morals put on us by our society and surroundings, or rebel and make our own rules? This is the issue that people in all walks of life are confronted with for every situation they happen to find themselves. If we behave, we become another dye-stamped automaton created by our world, our government and our families. But if we rebel we become anarchists, revolutionaries and dangerous thought-provokers. In other words be become individuals. The rare. The ones that will eventually shape the world...even if it is our own immediate one. The bottom line to my rant; be yourself. And remember. The different and rare often fascinates people. But it also scares them. You choose. 11/11/04 Coming soon!!! Rants regarding the following subjects: 1-Happiness as defined by our sick society 2-Holiday/birthday gifting and the hipocrasy of it all. STAY TUNED! 10/25/04 Ok.... this has gotten too obvious for me to keep my mouth shut. HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE JUSTIFY SAYING YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR A MATE, A SCREW, A ONE NIGHT STAND OR EVEN JUST SOMEONE TO COME ROCK YOUR WORLD IF YOU ARE POSTING PICS ON YOUR PAGES THAT WOULD MAKE PLAYBOY LOOK TAME?!?!?! I can`t even imagine posting a pic of myself at the beach with the sun behind me and water glistening over my chiseled body and expect the ladies not to say that they want a piece of me. (of course the chiseled part is mostly fantasy but let me dream alright?) And the other thing that makes me really confused is when you say that you are single and yet you are posting pics of your baby`s daddy or mommy... and then you tell people to "holla at ya". Make up your freakin minds people!!!! And if you are plannin on havin any pics with more than the average skin, body part or sensuous curves showing(got chills just writing that), at least make a different page to post the pics of your children. I am sure that they would appreciate being displayed, but not along with mommy`s pics at Chippendale`s, at the beach with boobs and booty showing all over the place or hanging out stoned at the local club! Is this too much to ask? Please... tell me I am being unreasonable. (by the way...i am single and looking. but i am also realistic and i realize that if i show some skin or tell you about the size of my package or other desirable data i will get more responses. however i also realize that the responses might be based purely on the physical desire and not the romantic outlook that i need. just a lil too romantic for my own good. oh... and i am a bit picky too. no snobs or chicken heads..... but no air heads either. yeah...i know...i am going to be alone forever. oh well. ) 8/30/04 I just thought I would mention that I am lettin my hair grow out lately so all of my pics are not exactly very acurate right about now. Overall I still look the same only with a lot more hair. I figured since I am trying to be more myself and not trying so hard to please others I would try something new with the hair. Not that anyone cares. If you want to see how it looks now let me know. I will have to find some new pics to put up soon anyway. peace. 7/28/04 (second rant today...sort of) before she strangles me for "not mentioning" her.... hi jalitsa. lol. 7/28/04 SEGURIDAD O AMOR? DECIDE. (I know my spanish is tore up. just go with it. Maybe you`ll get the point.) Yo ha tenido una problema reciente y me ha dehado una pregunta de que quiero hablar un poquito. Sera mas importante sentir seguro en su relaciones o de ser amado de verdad? Algunos personas puedan discutir que ser amado es el mismo que sintiendo seguro en su relacion, pero al la misma vez puede sentir seguro sin tener amor. Ejemplo: Yo ha tenido relaciones fisica por algun tiempo con una que es amiga pero yo no la ama. Pero ella esta lista de escojer de todo lo que le doy, sabiendo que no le puedo dar amor. Es solamente para no estar sola y para tener alguien en su vida, todavia seindo temporaria y solo de vez en cuando. Eso me deje pensando si de verdad encontrara la mujer de mis suenos o si debo cojer la que tengo frente de mi, como hace mi amiga. Yo creo que soy un hombre que piense en el bueno del mundo y que unos de estos dias encontrara la mujer que me hara sentir completo, pero los ultomos dos anos estoy poniendo mas miedoso y creo mas cada dia que voy a terminar solo. Me dejes pensando que podra ser maz feliz con una que es amiga solamente, en ves de seguir buscando una que puedo amar y no lo encuentro. Yo ha tenido la fortuna de ser amado por amigas miyo, pero no tengo la misma sentimiento para ellas. Es mentir a su amante si las ama pero no esta enamorado de ella? Qual es peor, estar solo o cojer la que te ama de tonto dejandola creer que estas enamorado? 1/9/04 **Well, I made it another year. I just took down a pic of someone very dear to me today, because as she would say, "it is time to move on". I can`t help but feel betrayed in the way things turned out and i am not afraid to say so. Unfortunately she is not around to tell these things to and when she is I am just trying to be civil and letting go of the past hurts that have been put on me. I let myself trust someone again. Something I once said would take a really long time and I was mislead, again. We will never have that trust again. No matter how much you smile. No matter how much I act like it doesnt bother me. But she will always know that the trust she threw away is gone forever. And she has to answer to that in her quiet time. Someday she will realize just what she lost. ** 11/13/03 **Here it is the birthday of someone very special to me and I cannot even call her. And to make matters worse my birthday tomorrow will be without any words from her as well. How did things go so wrong? I miss you Jas.** 4/2/2003 **For that special lady who I just can`t seem to make happy, I post the lyrics of a song I heard many years ago from the movie "Desperado", sung by Salma Hayek.** "Quedate Aqui"- performed by Salma Hayek, written by Mildred Villafone- "DESPERADO SOUNDTRACK" Quedate aqui en mis brazos quedate aqui para mi, y no me digas que me amas no me digas que me adoras dime solo que te quedas una vida junto a mi llevame por alli llevame en tus anzias a un lugar donde ya no tenga que jurar donde ya no tenga que mentir donde solo exista para ti. y no me preguntes si te quiero que no te preocupe lo que pienso que yo soy completamente tuya a mi manera. pero a Cuando quiero ser tu sueno yo no me conformo con tus besos quiero darte todo lo que siento y mas que eso 3/11/2003 **How is it that I am in the situation that I find myself? What have I done to make others feel that I am so trustworthy? Do I really come across as a "SUPERMAN"? Why does no one see `MY` pain? `MY` suffering? `MY` flaws? I am the first one to admit that I am "DAMAGED"? How is it that the important people in my life cannot see that? Or choose not to? I keep finding myself lost... or trying to lose myself in an effort to find some answers. But it seems the answers are not for me to know. So I TROOP on and hope that one day I will be happy. That one day the smile will be genuine, not strained. I TROOP. ** 3/4/2003 **QUE PASA MIGENTE? NO ME AMES? DON`T WANT ME NO MORE? GONNA HURT MY FEELINGS... ** 2/25/2003 **NO NOTES?? NO SIGNING MY GUEST BOOK? I`M NOT FEELIN THE LOVE HERE, MIGENTE. THOUGHT THE LATIN NATION WAS A PASSIONATE ONE. DON`T MAKE ME FEEL ALONE HERE.** 12/17/2002 **PEOPLE!!! DO ME A FAVOR. IF YOU`RE LOOKING, AT LEAST LEAVE AN "HOLA" IN THE G-BOOK. DON`T BE RUDE. YOU`D BE SURPRISED AT HOW MUCH MORE ATTENTION YOU CAN GET THAT WAY. PAZ**
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO KNOW, I AM A PUERTO RICAN SCORPIO IN THE SOUTH BRONX.
LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO HANG WITH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME. WE CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH FRIENDS CAN WE? I AM AN EASY GOING GUY WHO LIKES TO DO ALL KINDS OF THINGS. I AM NEVER WILLING TO SIT STILL UNLESS I AM BEING ENTERTAINED (OR I AM EXHAUSTED AND CANNOT MOVE...WHICH HARDLY EVER HAPPENS). I AM NOT LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO JUST LOOK FOR A FREE RIDE. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A BRAIN OF YOUR OWN. CONVERSATIONS CAN GET INTENSE IN MY PRESENCE (AND SOMETIMES KINDA DIRTY) SO MAKE SURE YOU CAN HOLD YOUR OWN. GIVE ME SOME IDEAS AND LETS SEE WHERE IT MAY LEAD. TELL YOU WHAT. YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE "MIRAGE"? THEN LEAVE ME A MESSAGE HERE OR AT FABIAN_CANCEL@HOTMAIL.COM. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT AND WE WILL SEE WHERE WE GO FROM THERE (IF AT ALL.) NO FREAKS AND NO GEEKS PLEASE. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR IDIOTS OR FREE LOADERS. JUST REAL PEOPLE. I PLAY BASEBALL, HANDBALL, PAINTBALL (WAR GAMES)
AND I RACE NITRO MODEL CARS
AND TRUCKS. (I AM ADDICTED TO SPEED OF ALL KINDS)
I LOVE THE OCEAN AND THE OUTDOORS. DINNER OUT WITH FRIENDS IS ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVORITE PASTIMES AND WE GO OUT AS MUCH AS TIME ALLOWS (WHICH HAS BEEN KINDA LIMITED LATELY DUE TO ALL KINDS OF DRAMA). AS YOU CAN IMAGINE I LIKE TO BE ACTIVE. MOUNTAIN BIKING IS ANOTHER MAJOR LOVE OF MINE.... BUT MY HEART
TOTALLY BELONGS TO MY LITTLE LADY, CANDY, MY HUSKY WHO YOU SEE ME IN THE PIC WITH. HERE ARE A FEW WORDS ABOUT HOW A FEW OF MY FRIENDS SEE ME. (JUST SO YOU DON`T THINK I AM MAKING MYSELF OUT TO BE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE). GHONEY86 (R.I.P. 5/9/02) - "I think you`re perfect in every way. I wish my husband was more like you" JT_MOUSE_2000 - "A good friend and listener, even if he is stubborn" MARKYLOVER12 - "What I think of you...? Hmm, let me see. No bullsh!t type person. What you see is what you get. Can turn things around so well can make you confused. Likes to keep you guessing. Overall nice person. Loyal & trustworthy." JALITSA72781 - "Well my thoughts of Fabian... Fabian is the most kind and generous guy I have ever met. He`s not full of bullsh!t or lies. He`ll tell you like it is (whether you like it or not) and that has to be respected and loved about him. You can`t help but love hanging out with him and chillen. He`s the best. his friend, Jalitsa " TISSUE008 - "I believe Fabian....(yes, you) is a really kool guy. I know we don`t know each other a lot, but you seem to be confident, fun and caring. You don`t forget about anyone, and seem to find the time to reply and send at least one sentence to anyone who writes to you. Cute and sweet. Sincerely, Jasmine :-)" SWEETIE62819 - "I think you are a generous man who lives your life to the fullest....you don`t let people get in your way...you stand up for yourself, and the ones you care about"
Here are lyrics to a song by a band called STAIND, dedicated to a few people in my life. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. "For You" To my mother, to my father, It`s your son or it`s your daughter, Are my screams loud enough for You to hear me? Should I turn this up for you? I sit here locked inside my head Remembering everything you`ve said The silence gets us nowhere! Gets us nowhere way too fast! The silence is what kills me I need someone here to help me But you don`t know how to listen And let me make my decisions `Cause I sit here locked inside my head Remembering everything you`ve said The silence gets us nowhere! Gets us nowhere to fast! All your insults and your curses Make me feel like I`m not a person And I feel like I am nothing But you made me So do something Cause I`m %#&@$!ed up Because you are Need attention, Attention you couldn`t give I sit here locked inside my head Remembering everything you`ve said The silence gets us nowhere! Gets us nowhere way to fast (2x) HERE`S SOME OF MY POETRY FOR THOSE OF YOU INTERESTED IN MY DEEP SIDE (ACTUALLY JUST THE SIDE THAT FEELS ALL MY PAIN). PAIN by Fabian "Mirage" Cancel can i be good for you? by Fabian "Mirage"
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(Btw... for those who care about this kind of thing, I created my page myself. Not as tricked out as I would like, but it suits me... reflects me.) (ANSWER: THE PUPIL OF THE EYE) 
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