First off, may the Flying Spaghetti Monster forever bless you and keep you in his sauce.
We have a threat to our faith, brothers and sisters, and it is up to us to bring this persecution to light. The Kansas school board has said that Intelligent Design must be taught in science classrooms, as an alternative to Evolution. Let us remember, however, that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I, and many others around the world, are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.
Excluding the Flying Spaghetti Monster from our schools is extremely disrepectful, and is bordering on heresy.
We have all been touched by His Noodly Appendage...