a_ultima's Blog

I've allowed my self to be locked up in a black box by someone who i thought was my soul mate cause of MY LOVE 4 him i have pushed my family away , so now i sit here looking at other peoples pix with there families and finally realized. I AM SO UNHAPPY, I AM DEAD INSIDE AND OUT. I SMILE FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND ME BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT IS EXPECTED.. I CHOKE ON WORDS AS I SAY THEM, THEY DON'T EVEN COME OUT RIGHT NO MORE .THINGS ARE NOW SINGS I JUST DON'T CARE . I AM A LOUSY MOTHER, MY CHILDERN ARE LOVELY, INTELLIGENT,GENTLE AND KIND AND DESERVE SO MUCH MORE THEN ME.HOW DID I END UP WITH SUCH GREAT CHILDERN IS BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION. I HAVEN'T LEFT MY HOME IN ABOUT A WEEK I DON'T WONT TO FACE THE WORLD FOR ONE DAY I WILL HAVE TO ANSWER FOR MY MISTAKES IN LIFE I FEEL MY CHEST ACHEING AND MY HEART SLOWING DOWN CAUSE IT CAN NO LONGER B STRONG AND AT TIMES IT HURTS WITH SKIPS INBETWEEN ......SOMETHING IS TERRRIBLY WRONG. AND SO I SIT AND WAIT AND BEAR THE PAIN IN HOPES THAT THE LORD WILL BE MERCIFUL AND TAKE ME QUICKLY IN MY SLEEP, I WISH I WERE DEAD ..................IF I'M LUCKY MAYBE I WON'T WAKE UP TOMORROW. AND NO ONE WILL CARE.

For everything created, In the bounds of earth and sky. As such longen to be mated, It must crumble almost die.

Be very careful if you make a woman cry ........ because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior. But from his side to be equal Under the arm to be protected And next to the heart to be loved.

iiT TAKES A STRONG WOMAN TO ACCOMPLISH GREAT THiiNGS. A STRONG WOMAN KEEPS HER HEAD STRONG, AND HER HEART PROTECTED FROM STUPiDiTY. MiSTAKES MAY HAPPEN ALONG THE WAY, BUT SHE LEARNS NOT TO MAKE THE SAME ONES iiN THE FUTURE.

LOVE NEVER DIES A NATURAL DEATH. IT DIES BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO REPLENISH IT'S SOURCE. IT DIES OF BLINDNESS, ERRORS AND BETRAYAL. IT DIES OF ILLNESS AND WOUNDS. IT DIES OF WEARINESS, WITHERING AND OF TARNISHING.