Ayiti_Dominicana88's Blog

Following the French Vogue Black Face layout and the Australian Black Face performance on the "Hey Hey Its Saturday" reunion  its time to ask our selves whats really going on. Is it fashionable to play with the things that demeaned a people? does it stop being Racist because you think its funny?

I find myself having the "race" dialogue a lot. I have it with friends and with complete strangers and the conclusion of said conversations varied depending on experience. Growing up in Brooklyn and then moving to Georgia was an interesting experience. I didn't notice the problem of race until I was in high school and I didn't experience BLATANT racism until I was 19 years old. So to say that I was sheltered is an understatement. Because my parents are Dominican (mom)  and Haitian (dad), I cant say I can 100% relate to the trials and tribulations of Black people in America. I tend to have the "pull your self up by the boot straps" mentality when it comes to some of the complaints often made.

But as I've looked at World wide culture I've realized that this isn't strictly an American problem. It Happens in Australia and Brazil and France and the UK and Russia and Canada. Because other countries didn't have civil rights movements, and most other countries weren't dealing with Jim Crow and Apartheid it seems that governments believe that their people are living in harmony. Racial tension is pretty underground in their minds but its main stream for the poorer darker masses. People don't talk about it, but they should. I've heard many people say that In their countries they don't have a race problem. Fidel Castro claimed this openly while tons of Afro-Cubans suffered and still are suffering. Racial identity is so skewed in many parts of the world so that they don't have to identify themselves with Africa. You don't have to take my word for it... books were written on it. A good book to look at is Race and Ideology by Arthur Spears. It is a collection of articles that touch on things we see on a daily basis that not only demean any person who isn't a Straight white male, but reinforce stereotypes people have been battling for centuries.

The race discussion needs to be something that is world wide. Tego Calderon called for a Latin American Civil Rights movement in his essay, Latinos & Black Pride . Other studies on Latin America have surfaced... The Miami Herald did one in2006. This isn't a new issue. Race an ethnic conflicts are still going on in Africa. People in Japan are putting on black face and gallivanting around and engaging in buffoonery. and don't even get me started on Australia and many European nations including France and the UK and their immigration policies. We are humans. Whether we be black or white or whatever in between. The discussion must be had. Be the Martin Luther King Jr and the Ida Wells Barnett of your Generation. Be a strong voice the moves for change where you live. regardless of the cost. Because someone has to be the voice that effects change and who else is better than you?? The truth always finds its way to the light.

It's hard for me to believe that all women are as irrational as we are depicted in music, movies and on television. Is that the reality? Are we really the crow bar wielding, clothing burning, vindictive lunatics we are made out to be? My usual conclusion to these things is simply no. Its just a stereotype developed to "keep women down". Something that only the most ignorant in society believe is the way they should act. I usually believe these stereotypes are unfounded... that there is no proof of it but lately i have been genuinely confused. Are women genuinely irrational, passion driven creatures. Are we not capable of doing the things that men do and still do the things that women do? So many successful women today aren't married and don't have children. It seems that We have found ourselves in a place where we either take on a family or we focus on careers. but why is that the case.... Doesn't that just go against the point that women have been trying to prove for centuries? In all the reading I've been doing its not too many powerful women that I can name that are married and have children.

       There is some thing called the Cult of True Womanhood. This was something that was extremely important after the civil war into the civil rights movement. Women would take on the whole world... they'd be active church members and mothers and wives and were still able to make a name for themselves.

     I think my favorite Historical Figure has to be Ida B. Wells Barnett. This is one of the many from rags to riches stories surrounding female leaders of her day. She was married and had tons of children and still managed to affect change throughout the world with the Anti-Lynching movement. Many of the great civil rights leaders we so often talk about had husbands and children and still took on the world and made huge changes that make our lives easier. People like Salomee Urena and Las Mariposas (The Mirabal sisters). Diane Nash Ruby Doris Smith Robinson and Amy J. Garvey  these were intelligent, driven and determined women.

         Over the years things seemed to have changed significantly regarding women and what we believe that we can take on. Many successful women opt not to get married and have families. People like Oprah, Justice Sotomayor and Condeleeza Rice who have come into great success through their determintation and the paths that others have put into place for them. It seems  that as women today, we feel we cant have those personal ties when running in the males race. It seems to me women feel as if They have to be a man to be successful in a man’s world.  not to mention the role that intimidation plays in the whole scheme of things.

      But the there are special cases where women have decided that they wanted it all. The want the fame and the success and the joy and responsibility of a family. Women like Soledad O’Brien, Sarah Palin, Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton etc. etc. These women have the world at their feet and have a support system that allows them to reach for the sky. So if they can do it why cant we. Why cant we have it all at the same time. I understand finding a man willing to support your dreams and aspirations is very diffiult because so many males dont know how to be MEN but I believe if we are careful of the people we surround ourselves with, work hard and aceept help when it is offered to us the sky is the limit… proving that anything a man can do a woman can do it better

Over the past 2 years the way we deal with race, sex and politics has been pushed to the forefront of American Society. I've commented quite a bit on how we deal with each other as far as race goes and our understanding of who we are.

This year I took 4 classes that deal with race and ethnicity and how some of us have the complexes that we have. (and I'm sure you're waiting for me to get to my point... its coming be patient.. i almost always have a thesis. this is just my pre-thesis commentary) As much as we'd like to say our difference don't matter, they do. As much as we'd like to say we don't make snap judgments we do. As much as we'd like to say we aren't racist or sexist we are. This year we have witnessed the most disrespect shown to a sitting president. People interrupting his speech, people going over seas to undermine his policies and declarations. We can open our mouths and claim that It's because they don't agree with his ideologies as president but the reality is if his name was John Smith and his family hailed from northern or western Europe He could be on the verge of a take over and no one would give a rats A$$ but because his name is Barack Hussein Obama and his father is from the Motherland and was a Muslim we decide that there is no way that this criminal black man or this murderous Muslim can be president of these here United White States of America. if you don't agree with me please show me once where a member of congress went overseas and openly defied a President.... Show me one speech or  engagement that a president was at in his home land where someone OPENLY disrespected him. regardless of  how much we disagreed with Bush's policies no one stood up during an address and called him a liar. no one visited with governments he said we didn't recognize. No one went to China or any other major nation and said "don't trust Bush". Anything the Obama's get behind we are against... so as you read this blog below ask your self if we are upset that he won it and didn't deserve it or are we upset that The world doesn't agree with out close minded, disgusting, passive aggressive racism. 

 so now on to my thesis. :-) Three sitting US presidents have received the Nobel Peace prize. Woodrow Wilson, Teddy Roosevelt and now President Barack H. Obama. According to Nobel's will, the Peace Prize should be awarded "to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses." So the will doesn't say that it has to be accomplished but simply that it's in the works. (shall have done) a lot of us are speculating that this is just one more chance to kick former President Bush in the butt however I disagree. I think its a way to get people behind President Obama so his policies can he heard.

Unlike the scientific and literary Nobel Prizes, usually issued in retrospect, often two or three decades after the awarded achievement, the Peace Prize has been awarded for more recent or immediate achievements. Some commentators have suggested that to award a peace prize on the basis of unquantifiable contemporary opinion is unjust or possibly erroneous, especially as many of the judges cannot themselves be said to be impartial observers which could very well be true. But the promise of Peace in time where its unseen is a big deal. This particular prize is a leap of Faith... it says "although you haven't yet accomplished your goals I believe in you".

I mentioned Woodrow Wilson and Teddy Roosevelt for a very significant reason. In comparison to President Obama, These men we both sitting President Presiding over major wars with troops in countries that they probably have no business being in. they were all intellectual super stars of their time and very popular with their constituents.  While President Obama inherited his wars, Presidents T. Roosevelt and Wilson both created theirs. Roosevelt won his Peace Prize for brokering Peace between Japan and Russia while he had troops in almost every Latin American country. President Wilson took the first opportunity to run into World War One (because the thinking at the time was that wars brought on prosperity) (if u notice every major war of the 20th century was followed by economic downturns) Yet he won the Nobel Peace Prize for proposing the idea of the league of nations that the United states failed to join, playing a major role in the ultimate demise of the league of nations. Promises of peace were rewarded in the cases of Yasser Arafat and we all know how that one ends.

WE can ask our selves if the Prize if just a long standing joke... or if its a dead mans way to make up for the evil he brought in to the world. I do agree that maybe a promise isn't enough to win a prize and Yes there are people who were very deserving who didn't win it... but I appreciate that President Obama is being backed somewhere because clearly it's not happening here. Because the guidelines for the peace prize are so vague a lot of their selections will be controversial but if someone offers you a prestigious prize such as that would you turn it down? I wouldn't.... and I agree with Mr. Obama's words... this should be a call to action. not only for world leaders but for us here in the United States. We are letting congress drag its feet on important measures and until those are resolved other wont be.

i don't need everyone to agree with me, because what kind of world would this be if i could argue with people :-) but lets be honest with our selves. no I don't agree with Every Obama policy just like I didn't disagree with every Bush policy but now we are becoming so polarized that things that aren't important are blinding us from what's really going on. Our political system is a joke and Although Mr. Obama wants change He wont get change unless we get rid of our current politicians. I challenge everyone who is of age and understands how the political process works to run for office. If you don't want to run and if you don't want to vote and if you don't want to be in the face of your representatives than SHUT UP! because u gave up the right when you passed on making a difference. As close as these elections have been lately EVERY VOTE makes a difference.

I realize I've bounced across a few topics ( and that's why I'm taking Journalism classes to solve that problem that I have) but I believe that when you have a voice... no matter how big.. you should use it. Although i would like to be able to change everyone's mind so they can see things from my point of view I can't... the most i can do is ask that you find more than one way to collect your information... not just Fox News, Not just MSNBC, Not Just CNN or conservative blogs or liberal blogs but all of it because there are 8 sides to every story.  and if you don't like to read.. you should go ahead and kill your self because your ignorance i gonna kill you.

with all that said... I feel finished.... I might not be... but i feel finished... feel free to comment... I like how you all think!

Hi Kids!!!!!

long time no talk!! or watever u say in events of me not getting online for long periods of time. lol! I have to admit I have been going through it lately.. all kinds of sick... so since i haven't been shy about telling you all my business why start now. lol!!!

                  So!! from July until about 2 weeks ago I have been on like the endless period. 3 solid moths of bleeding. ( yes i know... i should have gone to the doctor WAY sooner than i did) but i digress... found out i have PCOS (poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome) which is possible genetic. but i'm still doing research on everything that comes with it... lol I'm not diseased just cant easily have kids among other things. I will say I enjoyed a year and a half period free. so,  u know.. give and take right? lol ( I'm not a fan of paying my doctors who only do a mediocre job at diagnosing my issues.. lol! ) but anyway.. after PCOS, i got attacked by some crazy insect and I had a huge allergic reaction to it. and then i got the flu/ cold because at that point i refused to go to the doctor which is potentially reckless.. but why pay somewhere around 70 dollars to see the doctor to be told that u're fine... sigh.. Kaiser kinda sucks. but i digress.

I am on the verge of being healthy.. i'm like a bowl of soup and a cup of tea away from being healthy so :-) i'm excited about that...  I've started other blogs but as I read through some of the comments that I've ben getting I think I want to see you all's opinons more than anything else. I mean most of you are 10 times more insiteful that i could ever wish to be. so i'm gonna test it out for the next few weeks...

we're talking essay style free style answers. and it wont be corny questions like the MG polls are but things that matter and that arent being asked just in general.  and it makes it o that if you dont have an opinio you can inform your self on the subject matter and be informed....

so I think I'll start today with 3 questions.. u can answer one, two, all or none :-) all up to you?

Speaking of Migente Polls... Which famous Hispanic do you find most inspirational?

The choices offered... so 3 dementional right? so lets be real.. because we know latinos are more than entertainers and politicians....   so who inspires you for real? adn why?

question 2 : As we know I'm a political Junkie so u know I'm all up in the G-20 talks and everything that the UN is currently up to ( I am also kinda a Hugo Chavez fan.. cause He's a douche Bag and doesnt hide it.. love the guy for being real)

but anyway what is your take on some of the current world issues ( Iran and their missles, the U.S. Embargo on Cuba, interational opinion of our current President)

Question 3: would it be me if there wasnt a relationship question.

Why is it hard for a Successful woman to find a Good MAN? is that success just intimidating? do we as women hold the bar to high for anyone to reach? what's your opinion guys.

I havent yet decided if i was gonna answer the questions my self after all is said and done but I like hearing what you all have to say

 It's been 2 and a half months since "Tony" and I broke up and I've know "Jon" for a little over a month. And I've just been looking back on everything that happened in May and June and I'm questioning evrything I thought I knew.

   For those who dont know the story Tony and I had the most horrible break up and the aftermath was something i definitely omitted for the purposes of my privacy ( gasp) and also because it was a very hard and personal time for me. I've been super introspective the past few days. I've been questioning my motives for feeling the way I felt and I've been wondering whether or not the way I went about "healing" was healthy. ( don't jump to conusions i was giving it up to everyone that would have me. lol I'm way smarter than that).

    Today was on of the first times I had a conversation with my ex that was semi-pleasant. until the end... ( it seems he cant help but to try to fix my morals, as if he's just short of being Jesus)but as I was talking to him I felt something rise up in me that I havent felt since we broke up. This isnt a guy that I hate. He hurt me and he disrespected me and belittled me and yes i deserve better but I love him. 

    I feel like a totaly hypocrite cause early this week I told someone to be happy with who they were with because he is a great guy. i told her do what she needed to do to move on and feel better but it seems I have yet to do this. I havent delt with all the feeling that I had for this guy. the only reason I hated him so much was because I needed him to love me back and he didnt. and I'm with "jon" nearly everyday and he's a great guy. He's amazing and funny and kind and everything a girl should want in a man but its not what m heart wants. My mind knows he's perfect so I'm trying. I do like him, I have feelings for him but he's not "Tony" 

isnt that disgusting? that i think that way. I started thinking that maybe if i just had sex with "Jon" that I would be over "Tony". but Jon being the AMAZING GUY that he is wasnt having it. He said that relationships arent for sex, they are to build trust and fall in love and sex is an expression of that love. and to be completely honest... Sex wasnt that for me.. it was just fun. and looking back at how it just the sex between "tony" and I just intensified once I fell for him.... and that's why it was the best sex ever.  

      In all the thinking I was doing I started to wonder what our priorities are when we look for men. When we get into relationships.. is it for sex or is it for love? In all this heartbreak and anguish I've been masking I think I've found a girl who is a little wiser about what she wants. I decided to take time away from "Jon" and just kinda focus on myself and my needs so that I can heal. Things like this takes a lot of time to sort through and I'm glad I finally realized this. So I'm gonna go to miami.. sit on the beach ( under an umbrella of course) and read and think about everything I wet through and everything I want to get out of my next relationship so that it can be something that will last a lifetime.

but anyhow... thanks for reading. I'm off to bury myself in my books for finals week.

    Now-a-days finding a Good partner is difficult. it seems that the guys that make themselves available aren't worth any woman's time and the good ones are either taken or only want to be friends (for fear of heart break).

     I've dated a$$hole after a$$hole after A$$HOLE. There were abusive a$$holes, Controlling a$$holes, cheating a$$holes, drug dealing a$$holes, criminal a$$holes, married a$$holes, good for nothing ghetto a$$holes. I've seen dated every kind loser there is out there. and it's not like I'm meeting guys online or in the club. These are ppl I've met @ work, @ school and through friends.  and to be honest the friends I have met online are kool dudes... some are a little conceited but they are kool dudes ( i guess its just the stigma of having met online that keeps me from pursuing serious relationships with them)

you think I would learn my lesson. but it seems that I dig the a$$hole type.  and so I fall for them because I my sick twisted little mind I'm gonna change him and make him the perfect man... UGH!!! stupidity.. I swear! and then the relationship ends badly and the pattern repeats its self.

    Lately I have been dating people I might not normally date ( The not so attractive guys, the ones that lack style, guys that are a bit older than my dating age limit) and I've found that although they don't suck I'm forcing it.. and that kinda scares me. I don't see myself in an abusive/ trust-less relationship.. I know I'm better than that. So then I reach an epiphany... maybe I shouldn't pursue guys that I want cause I want them.. maybe I should let the guys who want me pursue me... and so that's what I'm doing. ( not to say I give my number to whoever asks me... I'm still very anal about the type of people I associate with)

    Lately, I've been dating this guy, we'll call him Jon. (not his name but its wat were calling him) Jon is an amazing guy. He opens doors for me... pulls out seats for me.. pays for EVERYTHING. He walks me to my door and comes to the door when he picks me up. He plans things that I would want to do ( so no random stupid action movie) all the time we've spent alone is his apartment he hasn't tried anything. He's a good cook, he's clean, he's smart and he gets my sense of humor. so it's pretty obvious I'm interested in this guy. and although I'm not ready for something serious I wouldn't be mad if it went there with him.. and moving slowly makes the dating experience so fun! I'm always anticipating something awesome from him. He's amazing. one of the few good ones left... I'm just hoping and praying this doesn't fall into my usually pattern.

and I realize that I am super open with my experiences and opinions... but I don't know how else to be. It's not like I'm giving away my location or phone number or anything like that. i just want to share my experience in hopes that someone else will learn from the ( even if my dumb a$$ doesn't) lol.. and sometimes u guys lift me up with your comments as well and you have no idea how much I appreciate it.

and a brief aside!!!  Can someone tell me why guys just always have to give u unsolicitedadvice. I mean If I call u and I'm compaining about my parents, or work or school.. why do u need to give me advice? I didnt ask for it. I'm just complaining... just let me get it out... that's all I need. ( Thats why home gilrs rock... talk and laugh it off... lol)

I think that I'm pretty open-minded considering how I was raised and by who.  I have also found that In keeping an open mind I've learned a lot about people and how they choose to live thier lives and why. I have also learned a lot about myself in a lot of ways and through the people I choose to interact with.

      So for those of you who dont kno.. (lol) I'm bi-sexual.. please dnt ask how long I've known cause I will ask you how long you knew you were straight.. lol! I am also not here looking for anything but friends so I'm not trying to get at you for all my semi-homophobic readers.. lol! I say all this because I've seen a lot of just disgusting things being said to and about people. and I know We've established that I shouldn't let the ignorance of others get to me but if you dont take time out to educate the ignorant they will remain just that.

     I was at a party last night ad this young man there was being harrassed and everyone else just laughed like it was funny. I've known that guy since high school and he's been gay for as long as I've known him... he has a lot of feminine tendencies and so people tend to be taken aback by him. But he is the koolest person I know. He's smart and he's funny and very respectful of others and their feelings. 

     What bothers me in all this is that straight people think that because someone is gay that they are automatically trying to get what you have.... I promise that they aren't and being concieted isnt cute.

     I will say that being a black hispanic seventh day adventist bi-sexual female in the south has had its difficulties but its easier to just take people for who they are and not miss out on how amazing they are, rather than decide that you can't deal with it.  I know so many amazing people because I keep an open mind.  lol!

but thats that... thanx for reading

**edit**

I will not TOLERATE Ignorant or disrespectful comments. You have the right to believe what you believe however do so in an intelligent tackful manner cause i will delete the HE*L outta ur comment if you dont.

Thank You :-)
 

So as we are all aware of I'm kinda on the rebound... lol! so... i'm totally in the almost over it stage... deleted his number threw away the stuff he gave me ( except the teddy bear.. I kept that.. its cute.. i love it) I went to the spa and relaxed with my girls... hair done nails done happy.

        I' m kinda feeling my best friend right now.. but due to the whole rebound thing i'm not gonna pursue that cause if i did get with him it would have to be long lasting cause He's my best friend....

      oh and holla at my favorite pages... their pages are really kool and they have a lot to offer.. kool ppl. and finally shout out to YORDavian. check out his page.. shoot him a message... ur life will change ;-) he's kool!

     but anyway! on to my topic...

     I went on a girl date with my facebook wife this weekend and I had a great time. She's the best... especially cause I really needed to get out of the house and have fun. So we went to Atlantic Station ( a mini city inside of the city of Atlanta) and we ate at this really good Mexican spot ( cause i had been craving it) and on Saturday nights the restaurant has a dance floor and the play the latest hits :-) so I go dance ( yes hurt ankle and all) and there was this total hottie there... i decided he was my possible rebound boo. lol! so I 'm dancing with him and he is sooo smooth. he kept me on my toes the while night.... and then my "wife" and I decided we were gonna hit up a spot called enigma and the young man offered to come with.. and we were down so he followed us out there.

          enigma is on of those clubs where is mostly reggaeton all night so there was some bumping and grinding going on... well apparently that little boy thought the dancing was an invitation to fcuk me in the club... I think not!!! He pulled out it little man junk and attempted to touch something he had no business trying to touch. so gross!!!!  and i told him I didnt get down like that. So then dude goes "baby I love u" ...and i think to myself "WTF? How does he love me if he just met me 3.5 seconds ago?" so I'm like "I'm a lesbian"... and he said there was no way... and I told him that the girl I was with is my girlfriend and that he needed to chill out. and then he said that he can make me like men again and so i pointed at his little little penis and said "not with that" so then he called me a stupid bitch and said he wasnt feeling me anyway and walked off.

                 I've noticed that guys have a lot of schemes to seduce a girl... now I'll admit I'm a bit of a freak ( freak and hoe are not synonymous) and i guess in that light i attract the wrong kind of guy everytime... but because I'm not easy they try to find new and interesting ways of getting me to let my guard down and once their schemes dont work they get all pissy and say rude sh*t.  i wish ppl would learn to except rejection graciously.. its not like i think i'm like Tha sh*t and I am not stuck up.. I'm a very approachable person... but i have standards.. and those standards include not having sex in the club with a guy i just met.

          not to long after that dude walks away another one comes up behind me and asks me in my ear if looks matter to me. keep in mind its dark!!!! AHHHHH!!! i told him they matter a lot and grabbed my facebook wife and left. lol! hit up waffle house.. traded stories and then went our separate ways... :-) I had a really good time. and i guess i wanted to share that with u guys.. lol

the point is in there somewhere.. i hope y'all can find it. lol! Thanx for reading

I'm a pretty sensitive person, But I'm also very realistic about how life works. I've never been in a situation where I let anyone have complete power over my emotions. NEVER EVER.

so I guess I'll clue you guys in.. lol! I was dating this guy. We'll call him Tony. Tony is 31. He has 2 kids ( 2 different mothers) and has been separated from his wife for a few months. said wife just gave birth ( and that's why he has 2 kids). He's in the Army so he has that Alpha-Male personality. ( i like that in a guy but pparently i shouldn't cause those relationships ALWAYS fail) And even though he played the fcuk outta me I cant say bad things about him. I will however tell you guys what happened.

Tony and I talked for 3 months after I met him initially. We had this awesome kick ass sex ( on night 2! I know.. not kool!) and then he would constantly blow up my phone. He called me everyday. and he told me every little thing about his life. he let me in so much and in doing this I fell in love with him. I dont know if it was because I wanted to nurture him and make his life better... I dont know.  but anyway.... He let me in and I fell for him so HARD!!!!  So then we got to talking about me going to visit him @ Ft. Benning and I was like... okay.. kool! so I saved up 120 dollars for the trip and my dad was going to provide me with the rest via bank deposit. We planned on me spending the whole week... I would go on monday return on friday. So I'm excited!! I packed my bag and I'm like bouncing off the walls.

I pay my way down there and for the 1st day he pays for lunch and dinner and on the second day since we "slept in" he paid for lunch. We did all the stuff he wanted to do ( going to the gym and chillin with his boy). Then he asked me if i was paying for his dinner ( in the most akward inappropriate moment.) and so i said no.. I didnt have the money at that point and time to do that and I didnt really wanna spend what I had. so he flips out and he starts yelling at me and shit. so being who I am all my defenses are up. I feel totally embarrassed so I go hide in the bathroom I stopped being all touchy feely and I try not to ruin the evening further.

When we get in the car he starts yelling at me some more an I felt like I was a little kid... so I'm pissed and I dont say anything because again.. that's just who I am. So I'm mad to the point of tears now and I'm crying and shit and then he tells me that i'm leaving. so when we got back to his place I called the shuttle ppl and packed my sh*t. he asked me if i wanted to leave in the morning or if i wanted to leave that night. I decided to leave that night because how do i look like sharing a bed with someone who doesnt want me there. I wrote him a check for 70 dollars and told him that since money was so fucking important to him he could have it. He tore it up in my face and said he ddnt want my fucking money... So on the way to the shuttle the yelling  recomences. and so does the crying.  We got to the shuttle bus depot and he stops yelling at me and then we pay the people and I sit down. He calls me outside and tells me that we were just gonna pretend that the past few hours didnt happen and that we were fine. and all this is being said while he's hugging me and i'm crying. I apolozied for my attitude and then he kissed me and then he left.

so I get home and I text him to let him know I'm there, and he answers and then the next day any contact i try to make with him is pointless. so then he texts me super late at night and is all " stop harrassing me"  He broke up with  me via text message.

so i'm like head over heels in love with this dude who swore he loved me back and swore he wouldn't hurt me and swore that it wasnt about sex and that he wasnt going to play me.. and now I'm sitting here with a broken heart because I was totally used by him. He used me mentally emotionally and physically and it really sucks. and to make it worst I cant even be mad at that coward. I tried but I cant. I just keep hoping that maybe he'll come to his senses drive to my house and apologize. and i would take him back everytime....

and it bothers me so much more cause I'm not the girl who makes those decisions and I never cry over a guy... I always just say his loss u know.. and keep it moving. and I'm trying to just move on but I have my guard up super high. I really dont trust anyone after that. I should of gotten out when I had the chance... before he ever got to me. before he told me he loved me before that stupid trip to go see him... I feel so played... but that's his game.. reel you in with a sob story and then use u and then break your heart. I feel like an idiot for ever even gettin involved. and ALOT of people warned me to get out before it got to serious... I just wish I would have listened.

I am mad at him however because he realy messed up my head and I feel sorry for the next guy because he's gonna have to work that much harder... but whatever!!! thanx for reading.

  I've been reading a lot of Articles and comments under sad articles and I'm beginning to be very disheartened with Latinos ( yes I'm gona generalize cause the number of confused is ridiculously large.

   Soy Negra. I'm dark skinned and i love my complexion. I never once in life wished that I was lighter ( NEVER) This is something I'm proud of. and in saying that I find that people confuse race and ethnicity. Ethnically I'm Latina. all day!  My Mom was born and raised in DR and my father was born and raised in Haiti. I was born in the states and spent the 1st 3 years of my life in DR (that's more than most Latinos born in the states can ever say) I know my ancestry and my background and it makes me sad that so many of us dont know.

          Latin America is made up of A LOT of races. so here's a brief history ( this is gona be really general cause its too many countries to do each individually) "Explorers" from portual and spain came over and massacred the natives then they brought over Africans to do work for them. in the process of all this the spanish men were sleeping with the native women and the african women and the natives and the africans were sleeping together and and in all this a mixture developed ( a beautiful mixture). 

      After all the independence movements people started moving from Europe and Asia to the these developing nations. a few countries were begging for European immigrants in order to "lighten" the population of their countries. 

As latinos moved into the united states it caused confusion because everyone wasnt mexican or puerto rican and so the government developed a way to classify them.  Hispanic! The term Latino didnt really start being used until the 70's. These were developed as ETHNIC classifications. just like the terms "Asian" and "African American".

   Being in the Georgia and being surrounded by people from the country there iss an ugly ignorace that comes with that. People will either assume I'm Cuban ( which doesnt really bother me) or say that I'm a wanna be all because they dont know their ancestry.

Members like www_ORTEGZ_COM and Arturo_510_OAKLAND who believe that Latinos can only look like them... people who are mestizos. that's nonsense. these people have no idea who they really are and it's sad.

It bugs me cause people who are "Afro" Latinos arent taken seriously in the media.  but anyway... here is wikipedia links..http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afro_Latino http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Hispanic http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Famous_Afro-Latinos find your country and enlighten yourselves please! cause I'm tired of the ignorance.. lol!

thanx for reading!