Nice Guys Finish Last Sooooo..... - dude001's Blog

My Not So Personal Blog

I taught Shakespeare everything he knows!

Nice Guys Finish Last Sooooo.....

Posted

So anyway, I was at the club the other day and I noticed something. They might not admit it but girls like %#&@$! holes. So I decided to try this out.

I went up to this one chick and was like, "Ey %#&@$!. Come 'ere!" "Excuse me? What did u call me?" She said trying to sound all surprised and %#&@$!.
"Did I studder hoe? I said come here and shake dat %#&@$! %#&@$!!" I told her as I pointed in front of me.
"Oh ok!" She said smiling and she came to me.
"What yo name is gurl?" I asked as she danced all over me.
"Stacy," she said.
"I don't like it. From now on your name is going to be Guadalupe." I told her.
"I don't really like it," she said.
She asked me what my name was and I told her it was M-Money. She said it was a weird name. I told her to shut the hell up.
When the song was over she tried to walk away and I was all like, "Bitch where da hell u think u goin'?"
"I'm going to the ladies' room," she said.
"Bitch u ain't no lady. You a damn ho. Now go and buy me a drank. Get me da most expensive thing they have there," I told her.
"Uh, ok." She said and she went off to the bar.
"Took you long enough," I said when she returned with my drank. It was some kind of champagne %#&@$! they sell in those fancy stores. She poured me a glass and I drank a little bit. I then spit it all out on her dress.
"Bitch what da hell is this %#&@$!?" I yelled at her.
"It's Crystal baby," she said trying to sound all friendly and %#&@$!.
"Bitch what u think I am? 21? I ain't trying to pay for no cab! I want some Pepsi-with a cherry in it! And with one of those little sword things in it. Take this %#&@$! back." I said as I threw the glass at her.
"I'm sorry babe," she said. "I'll be right back," she said as she left with the bottle of liquid %#&@$!.
She came back with a glass of ice and a bottle of Pepsi. I took the glass from her and threw the ice at her.
"Bitch did I ask for ice?!" I yelled at her.
"I'm sorry babe, I just thought that-" she said before I cut her off.
"You thought nothing cuz u don't think," I told her. "You know what I'm leaving this place. Thanks for ruining my night! You better call me tomorrow ho!"
"Alright then baby," she said.
"Oh I almost forgot," I told her as I went back to her.
"A good night kiss," she said as she closed her eyes and leaned foward.
"Hell naw ho. I need you to give me 30 bucks. I gotta go see this one %#&@$! who lives accross town and I need gas money."
"Oh ok," She said as she handed me the money. "Call me tomorrow?"
"Bitch u crazy," I said as I walked away with my money and my drank.

Note: In case ur not good with sarcasm, this never happened...

Comments (26)

Add Comment
Comments Options
Sort comments by:




gatita_chulita
gatita_c...

Female, Age Private, Minneapolis, MN

Posted May 16, 2009


That's funny....i actually spit my drink on my monitor "Bitch what you think i am? 21"


ACCOUNT CLOSED
CLOSED

Female, Age Private, Ocala, FL

Posted May 20, 2009


Very Funny!!!!


ACCOUNT CLOSED
CLOSED

Female, 29, Houston, TX

Posted May 21, 2009


Wow "From now on your name is going to be Guadalupe." LOL You have a great way of expressing yourself.


chela816
chela816

Female, 46, Burlington, MA

Posted May 27, 2009


Omg, that was hysterical! lol


ACCOUNT CLOSED
CLOSED

Female, 30, Wolcott, CT

Posted May 30, 2009


LOL... soo funny!! but its true most girls go for the %#&@$!s lol i know when i was younger i did LMFAO


CubanitaLokiita
Cubanita...

Female, Age Private, Pompano Beach, FL

Posted June 01, 2009


wow lolololololol

funny


jw32181
jw32181

Female, 39, Tampa, FL

Posted June 04, 2009


Funny story, but I like nice guys...


KaylaPitt
KaylaPitt

Female, Age Private, Australia

Posted June 05, 2009


Hey thanks for posting this. I found really funny.


RobJones
RobJones

Male, Age Private, Chehalis, WA

Posted June 07, 2009


haha nice story :D


clara84772300
clara847...

Female, Age Private, Dallas, TX

Posted June 12, 2009


There is no lady stupid enough to believe that story from the first paragraph...but nice guys do finish last, The last laugh..:) after getting the girl....


Showing 1-10 of 26

1 2 3
Next >>

blog archive

get in touch

You must login or register in order to get in touch.