Today I felt betrayed - Latinoview's Blog
Today I felt betrayed
Today I felt betrayed by my own heart as I sat in that cell,
Out of all days, of all the times that I could ever need you…
You were not there, and my heart dared not think of you.
Today, I died several times yet nobody knows it but you.
I lay awake, its 30minutes past 1:00 am…
You are probably in bed right now happy in his arms as I speak.
I so want to run to the phone and call you, rolling the quarters in my pockets
With the intent to dial your number quietly enough not to alarm any of those around me
But fast enough to hear the dial tone turn into rings…
To tell you I am free… from all the worries and concerns of my past, and nothing but the promises of tomorrow beneath my feet.
To exhale with an exclamation of content for what I have just endured.
However, today I felt betrayed by my own dreams,
Out of all the things that have been said between you and me…
Why must I lie here alone, in this cold room, without the sweet sound of your voice to gently caress my thoughts and ease my fears?
Today I tried many times to push back those thoughts which would break me, tare me down, limb by limb. And I managed, I survived… up to a few moments ago, when I realized I would always be alone.
I see myself in a sea of tombstones, burials’ of love long gone. Among a mist of leaves dancing with the wind and a backdrop of oak trees from a far; flowers like weeds growing along all the pastures in sight giving very little visibility to what I stand before…
Now I find myself in a dark room; surrounded by nothing but myself, multiple copies of me looking at me with various views and opinions as well. Quiet… I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to dare think it, I’m down on bending knees with my hands to my face… and I just can’t kick it.
The thought…Today I felt betrayed by my very own wishes,
Out of all things that have filled my heart with happiness in the past,
This faint song echoes in the back of my mind, a humming of tear drops in an endless sea of promises.
What is this…?